My First Heartbreak of 2026
Towards the end of 2025, which eventually bled into January, I was locked into a lengthy interview process for a role that I wanted more than anything. The job scope fit my career goals, the pay was within the range I thought was a living wage, and the company had a great culture based on what I could see on Glassdoor and LinkedIn.
Every morning, I refreshed my inbox full of hope for good news. After making it to the final stage of the interview, I thought the chances of landing the job were high. I began romanticizing re-entering the workforce after months of waiting for my visa and job hunting in a new city. Since the final interview fell after New Year's, I had two weeks of the holiday season to work on my presentations. In some ways, I was grateful I had the time and space to work on my decks up to a point where I was fully satisfied. On the other hand, I had this weight looming over me during the holiday season that I could never quite shake off.
Despite trying to maintain a positive attitude, I was laden with anxiety and nerves.
The day of the final interview came, but by then I was already a bundle of nerves. For the life of me, I could not fall asleep with ease the night before, which resulted in me going into the interview without sufficient rest. It was frustrating, but I powered through, answering every question I could to the best of my ability and mustering all the energy I had to present in a way that I thought was enthusiastic and passionate. Based on the questions and responses, I had a good feeling about the opportunity and remained optimistic.
I was told that I would hear back from them within the week.
With each passing day, I found myself refreshing my inbox multiple times a day, willing for an email to appear that said, Congratulations! After not hearing back within 2 days, I followed up with the recruiter via email, asking for any updates. Eventually, I heard back on the final working day of the week that they had decided to move forward with a different candidate. My heart was absolutely shattered.
After a full month with multiple rounds of interviews, I didn't get it.
The thought of having to start over from square one by sending multiple resumes and cover letters a day, tailoring my portfolio for specific roles, and scrolling through multiple job boards a day filled me with dread. My immediate response after receiving the news was to keep on looking, but looking back on that day, it was a survival response.
I want to say that I have moved on from that rejection, but I would be lying.
I still think about ways I could have improved my presentations, provided more creative strategies, and responded to specific questions better. What I have taken away from this experience is that I needed a better system. I didn't like how anxious and overwhelmed I felt throughout that month of the interview process. Based on how I felt, I decided that the best way forward is to introduce phone-free mornings throughout the week.
That means my phone stays on my bedside table while I go about my morning. No checking messages and inboxes.
Since I'm mainly freelancing at the moment, I have the privilege of time in the mornings. Instead of tackling work, I have dedicated the morning to taking care of myself and indulging in my hobbies. The key criteria that I needed to meet before reaching for my phone were journaling, reading for 30 minutes, having breakfast, doing yoga and/or a strength-training workout, meditating, and getting ready for the day. Not always in that order, but you get the gist.
I can be a disciplined person, but only to a certain extent, so this practice mainly falls from Monday to Thursday, sometimes Friday if I feel like it.
What I found is that I'm a lot more centered and focused throughout the day. I no longer prioritize my phone as much, choosing to pick up my hobbies instead of scrolling. Don't get me wrong, I still scroll, but the urge has been reduced. Lowering my dependency on my phone made me more present and focused, which has allowed me to take a more holistic approach in terms of job hunting.
Instead of viewing the job market through a scarcity lens, I'm trying my best to reframe it as an opportunity to explore my interests and identify my strengths.
The job market is terrible right now, but there are opportunities out there waiting to be tapped. I genuinely believe that the right company will see my potential and what I can bring to the table. It feels hopeless at times, but I'm holding onto hope that good things are coming my way as long as I remain consistent and focused.
In the meantime, I want to have some fun and channel that funemployment energy while I still can. I want to visit a museum on a Wednesday afternoon or catch a matinee during the week just because I can. The past month has been a struggle as I recover from a terrible cold after a long-haul flight, but I'm going to pick myself up and find that balance between going hard in my job search and embracing the leisure time that I have during this period of my life.
